And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
