I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
