i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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