What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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