so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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