You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
