I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
