just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
