Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
