I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
