are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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