You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
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