Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
