so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
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if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
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That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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