I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
