i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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