I think im going to throw up on grandma
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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