K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
