a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
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i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
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I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
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