i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
