That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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