I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize