I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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