god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
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We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
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I just found a bag of teeth...
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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