Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
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