Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
