you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
