i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
