I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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