her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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