Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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