I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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