You made me cry and you don't even care
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
