I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
