so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Randomize
