I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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