I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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