just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
