It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
