and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
