I'm really into asian looking animals
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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