New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
