Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
