lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
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I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
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The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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