So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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