I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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