i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
