So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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