I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
