she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
