sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
